I was driving down a street along Alausa, having just
finished answering a call, when a policeman, suddenly, opened the passenger
door, entered and jam-locked it.
(The door lock is faulty).
As usual, he wanted 'something' from me for taking a call
while driving...
Suddenly, he saw the big Rottweiler, Jackie, at the back
seat of the car, with tongue stuck out, spittle dripping and fangs baring,
staring fiercely at him.
Policeman: (Shaking)
Ah! You carry dog?
Me: (I bone face) Yes, I carry dog. Dat one na offense?
Policeman: (Feeling uncomfortable)
N. n.. na where una dey come from?
Me: From hospital.
Policeman: Ehen! you sick?
Me: No, na person wey the dog bite we go see. The person
almost die sef.
Policeman: (Terribly shaken by now)
Ehen! But why the dog dey shake head like that?
Me: Na so im dey do if e wan bite person.
Policeman: The dog know you?
Me: Yes nah, no be my dog?
Policeman: (Sweating)
This your door, how you dey open am?
Me: How you take enta?
Policeman: Abeg! Na since I dey try open am, but e no open.
(The dog was now getting impatient and gave a small growl,
its tongue almost touching the policeman's left ear).
Policeman: (Now sliding forward) Oga, I take God beg you,
open the door for me make I comot. I no go collect anythin from you.
Me: How much you go pay me?
Policeman: Ah! I neva hustle anythin since morning. Na only
N1,000 dey wit me.
Me: You neva ready.
(I looked back at the dog).
Policeman: Ok ok ok ok ok, e reach 2000. The oda 1,000 na my
wife own, but take am join.
I though for a while and said ’oya bring am now!’
‘t.. ta ta. .takee am sah,’ he stuttered.
I quietly collected the money from his shaky hand, wet from
naked fear, took my time to pocket it, then help him open the door. The door was
not half open when he swooshed and zapped out fast. I shut the door and zoomed
off, hearing at the heels of my car’s tires his final words:
‘Wicked man! God go punish you ten times!’
