FEATURED WRITING: DIVORCE and CHILD CUSTODY

Marriages tend to break down for reasons ranging from adultery, lack of communication, intolerance, high expectations from both or either of the couples, loss of physical attraction, lack of commitment, family pressure and family background Many times people rush into marriage, with big dreams for happy endings till the death.
In Africa and, particularly, Nigeria, tender- aged children are often very attached to their mothers and men take that fact as an advantage to take the child (ren) away from the mother, in order to get back at her. On the other hand, the mothers as well use the children as a financial conduit, in order to get money from the father in the name of ‘child support’.In Nigeria, the two leading systems used by courts are the common law and the Islamic Sharia’ah law. The Matrimonial Causes Act gives courts with jurisdiction the power to deal with matters in respect of custody, guardianship, welfare, advancement or education of children of marriage, to regard the interest of the children as paramount and take any order in respect of the above mention matters as it thinks proper. Under common law, either the father or the mother can get the custody of the child depending on the fact of the case. This issue came up in the case of Oladetun versus Oladetun, where the custody of the only child was granted to the mother, despite the fact that the court found her to be an unsatisfactory wife who was prone to the practice of juju. Sometimes, the wishes of the child are taken into consideration. in the case of Theresa Temitayo William versus Rasheed Ahmed Willaims also commented on the issue of custody: “It seems that order for custody must have in view the opportunity of sound education as well as physical and mental welfare.
Custody Under Islamic Law Section 277(i) (2) of the 1999 constitution empowers Sharia’ah courts to decide on issues relating to custody of
children where marriages are made under Islamic law  law the mother is entitled to the custody of the child – for the male child, until he reaches puberty and until marriage for the female. the father retains all the residual rights to supervise the child’s general up-bringing,Also, in the case of Muhammadu Jatau Waziri versus Mamu Hajia, it was held that nobody is more entitled to the custody of the child than the mother.
Effects of divorce on children
Divorce introduces a massive change into the life of child no matter what the age. Witnessing the loss of love between parents, having parents break their marriage, the daily absence ofone parent while living with the other and trying to adjust to two different households can create challenges for a child to cope with. Normal reactions to separation and divorce include anger, rage, resentment, anxiety and mild depression. Divorce tends to intensify the young child’s dependence and accelerates the older child’s independence eliciting a more regressive response in the younger child and a more aggressive response in the older child. The following are some of the warning signs of divorce-related depression or anxiety; Sleep problems, Poor concentration, Trouble at school, Drug or alcohol abuse, Self-injury, cutting, or eating disorders, Frequent angry or violent, outbursts, Withdrawal from loved ones, Refusal of favourite activities.
From Chukwujekwu C. Onwuka department of sociology, Caritas University Enugu Nigeria reseach work she opined that 8 out of 10 marriages in Nigeria often results to divorce, stating that divorce leave permanent marks which accompany them into adulthood.
It is widely known that parents often forget or neglect the interest of their children when considering divorce. Those who are married must bear with thier differences and stay married.